9 (Hilariously Accurate) Reasons to Date Someone with Fibromyalgia

Whether you're a die-hard romantic or not, it's impossible to ignore the fact that Valentine's Day 2018 is almost here...and that means love is in the air. (Or, at the very least, plastered on every bag of chocolates, desserts or flowers in grocery stores nationwide). To get in the lovey-dovey spirit, I thought I'd talk about a lighter side of living with fibromyalgia: nine hilariously accurate reasons why fibromyalgia warriors are A+ dating material.

Sure, this post is written with humor and the traits I list below probably do not all apply to every single person living with fibromyalgia. However, I find that being able to laugh at some of the fibromyalgia symptoms that make my life extra "unique" can make the flare ups and the bad days a lot easier to handle.

So whether you have fibromyalgia, you know someone who does or you're already dating a fibromyalgia warrior, here are nine (funny but true) ways dating someone with fibromyalgia makes life (and romance) even sweeter...

1. Have a brain fart or just have a forgetful nature? We can 100% relate.

I'll be the first to admit that memory isn't my strong suit even when my brain is working perfectly. However, one common symptom of fibromyalgia is brain fog...and during fibromyalgia flare ups, my brain can be so sluggish, I'd fit in perfectly as a zombie extra on The Walking Dead.

So, if you're always forgetting where you put your keys last or what day is trash pick up, just know that I might tease you a little, but I'll mostly let it slide. And if your significant other is as familiar with fibromyalgia brain fog as I am, they'll probably have a similar reaction. (Not to mention, appreciate you for what you can remember and help us remember too!).

2. We always have an extra jacket/coat/sweater/scarf nearby in case it's cold.

Even though I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia at age 11, I didn't realize how closely related cold sensitivity and fibromyalgia was until a few years ago. Some research actually reports that people with fibromyalgia have lower pain thresholds to hot and cold temperatures...which means, when it's cold, we start to hurt. Fast.

So, it really shouldn't be surprising that people with fibromyalgia like me are rarely found without an extra jacket (or two...or three) on hand. If you're the kind of person who's always forgetting to bring that extra layer, maybe Cupid just needs to angle you in our direction? (And not only will we offer you a jacket if you're nice...according to point number one, we also may spare you from excessive scolding for forgetting it in the first place!)

3. Massages will be received with the same thanks and praise as flowers or winning lottery tickets.

When I was growing up, I always joked with my mom that I wanted to marry a cook or a masseuse. Considering that I now know how to whip up plenty of my own delicious gluten free and vegan meals, dating someone with a talent for massages has probably earned an even higher spot on my (somewhat serious) relationship goals.

After all, sometimes fibromyalgia flare ups can trigger knots or muscle tightness that no amount of stretching or yoga on our own can fix. And while a winning lotto ticket would pay for a lot of physical therapy appointments and flowers are always nice, we'll always be extra thankful for anyone who can help reduce our pain while in the comfort of our own home.

4. We know all the best TV shows to binge watch.

One of the best parts of dating someone with fibromyalgia is the fact that we know exactly which shows are the best to binge watch on Netflix (or any other subscription service). Although not every fibromyalgia warrior may be a TV lover, there is something comforting about cozying up with a good show on Netflix during a bad flare-up.

So if you love watching TV but never know which shows are worth your time, knowing someone living with a chronic illness who often relies on TV for distraction could be your "in" to discovering your new favorite shows. (Which, for foodies or documentary lovers, could include some of the food-related Netflix documentaries I list here).

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5. When we're having a "good" day, there's no stopping our adventurous side!

Dating someone with fibromyalgia, like dating anyone, involves more than cuddling on the couch and watching Netflix. (Though if that's what forms the basis of your relationship, who am I to judge?) When we do have our fibromyalgia symptoms under control - whether through a new supplement we're trying or just a good day - adventure awaits! Of course, the "adventures" vary depending on the person. For instance, my kind of adventurous date is a long walk along the ocean or hammocking under the stars. Meanwhile, my college roommate (who also has fibromyalgia) has done everything from scuba-diving to breathing fire...and there's no telling what hijinks she'll get up to next.

In fact, one could argue that dating someone with fibromyalgia often means dating someone who knows to really appreciate every adventure they go on because adventures aren't a guaranteed option. So even if fibromyalgia may limit our activities sometimes, don't automatically count us out of making some epic memories!

6. We'll rarely turn down a nap or an early bedtime.

In between those adventures, though, there will probably be (a lot of) sleep. Statistics state that as many as 4 in 5 people with fibromyalgia experience severe fatigue, so what may seem like "optional" nap times or late mornings for you are often required energy boosters for us. Ironically, insomnia is another common symptom of fibromyalgia, so some people take sleeping pills, like I do. In my case, those pills mean that I'm rarely hittin' the town after 9 at night, and I don't drive after 7 PM unless there's a special event and I wait to take my pills later.

So, if you've previously been teased for your "grandma"-ish early bedtime or you just love quiet nights in, a fibromyalgia warrior might be your sleeping soul mate. Add in our Netflix expertise, and there are plenty of relaxing movie nights in your romantic future.

7. We totally get the magical appeal of comfy clothes and sweats. 

Sure, we'll dress up from time to time (or even every weekday, if that helps us consistently slay our work), but we also agree that sweats are one of the best inventions known to mankind. When you're hurting or tired or extra cold (or all of the above), nothing feels better than slipping on your favorite and comfiest clothes.

At least in my case, this means that I don't expect my significant others to always dress up for dates. (Especially if it's a freezing cold night in Minnesota!) Who knows? Maybe dating someone with fibromyalgia increases your odds of finding a significant other who agrees that sweatpants and romance aren't mutually exclusive.

8. Our beds are the kings (or queens) of comfort.

Based on the sleeping habits I've observed in myself, my mother and friends with fibromyalgia, people with fibromyalgia are the modern version of Princess and the Pea: if there is something wrong, hard or uncomfortable about a mattress or pillow, we will find it. And, more importantly, it will keep us from falling and staying asleep.

Typically, that means our beds are cozied up to perfection, whether through additional padding, extra fluffy blankets, and/or a perfect pillow that offers support without screwing up your neck. Just don't say I didn't warn you: our beds can be so comfortable, you'll fall asleep during your Netflix date...and depending on how nice we're feeling, we may or may not pause the episode.

Like this post? Tweet me some love by clicking here: "I'm celebrating #ValentinesDay with some extra love & positivity. Click the link to learn 9 (hilariously accurate) reasons why people with #fibromyalgia are A+ #dating material --> http://bit.ly/2EhEAXZ #chronicillness #fibrowarrior #invisibleillness"

9. If you accommodate our fibromyalgia quirks, you'll always be appreciated.

The truth is, fibromyalgia affects many parts of my everyday life. It impacts which foods I decide to eat, which forms of exercise I do or even when I'm available to hang out (nothing sets a strict "curfew" like sleeping meds!). So, when I find people who recognize and accept my fibromyalgia quirks, I'm extra appreciative. Not only because others' support makes living with fibromyalgia easier, but also because my chronic illness is part of who I am...and accepting my chronic illness means that person is accepting and loving all of me.

I imagine that most people with fibromyalgia would say the same thing.

Valentine's Day can trigger a variety of feelings. For some, it's the perfect day to celebrate a loving relationship. For others, it's just another way to say "Single Awareness Day." This year, though, I want to send my love to more than just one person or my own group of family and friends. I want to send it to every other person kicking life's booty while living with fibromyalgia. Equally important, I want to send love to their significant others because support really can make the difference between living and thriving with chronic illness.

And if you've never dated someone with a chronic illness but fall in love with someone with fibromyalgia one day? Well, I hope you keep this post in the back of your mind, and remember that a little bit of humor and a lot of positivity can reveal hidden blessings in the chronic illness that shapes your loved one's life.

Happy Early Valentine's Day!

(And if you liked this post...don't miss looking at the one that inspired it, my 2015 list of 8 Hilariously Accurate Reasons to Date Someone with Celiac Disease!)



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