Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015!

Sometimes - when my quirky writing major personality dominates my brain - I like to personify the years of my life. 2013 - the junkie riding the rollercoaster of highs and lows. 2014 - the "strawweight" wrestler fighting her way back to health. And 2015? I have no idea. But I do know one thing.

One thing: it'll be sparkly!

As I sit in the kitchen listening to the pattering of rain off our house roof, I know that in a few short hours, it will be time to say hello to 2015. And, though the details are fuzzy, I'm pretty sure my greeting will mean something like this:

H: holding onto hope. It blows my mind to compare the weak, pale, NG tube-fed girl that limped through her freshman year of college with the girl typing these words right now. Two months ago, escaping the 88 lb mark was impossible. A dream poked and prodded until it bruised. It took time and lots of impatient patience, but I stepped on the scale two days ago and saw the needle spin to a healthy 100 lbs!

Perfect hiking weight!

At times, a diagnosis can act like a blinder. Celiac disease? Focus on the forbidden foods. Fibromyalgia? Only feel the pain. If 2014 taught me anything, though, its that recovery is possible. Bodies and minds heal - at a snails' pace and full of slime, but it will happen. In this coming year, as changes hit my life and more challenges pop up, I'm throwing my blinders in the trash. But "H-O-P-E" is stickin' with me.

E: embracing the unknown. As I mentioned in my last post, some of the biggest constants in my life - my parents, my home - will transform come this summer. And where will this college celiac be in the midst of mission move? That's also up for debate. Sometimes, the fact that I'm technically a junior and almost 20 years old (yikes!) scares me as much as a slice of gluten-filled bread slapped on my plate. The adult world? No thanks. Right now, I'm perfectly alright sticking in the Loma college bubble.

With this view? The Loma bubble is pretty sweet!

Added to those unknowns? The fact that, even after a year of practice, my tummy still throws tantrums that I always fail to diagnose. The human body - to be blunt - is terrifying overall. We try to tame it with makeup and exercise, heal it with juicing cleanses and vitamin substances, and even analayze it with some keyboard clicks and Internet surfing (A new rare disease I've never heard of? That must be it!). For now, though, I'm done swimming through the mystery. I'm staring at my sometimes bloated, sometimes skinny, sometimes upset body in the mirror and giving it a thumbs up - along with my empty 2015 calendar.

L: limiting the limits. I'm what my peers would call a Type A personality. Through determination and pure stubborness, I've snatched a 4.0 GPA throughout high school and college despite my medical issues. Being a Type A is a blesssing and a curse, though. Because despite all the positives, it also means I like to analyze. To plan. To weigh the pros and cons to reach the most logical conclusion. And while that's great for geometry (oh, freshman year of high school, those were the days...) it's not so hot for the other 23 hours a day.

In 2014, I walked a lot of paths previously marked "off-limits." I practiced schoolwork, but I also practiced the art of friendship. I devoured my first Swoffle (now that's a phrase I hadn't predicted); I shared my recipe for Sweet Potato Salmon Sliders and watched the Internet readers eat it right up. I upped my product bloggin' reviews, went to my first Writer's Conference, and started cooking all my own meals. In 2015, I want it to be even better. Less worries, more fun. Less planning, more spontanienty. Less limits - more living.

This year in pics!

L: listening more. In 2014, I learned how to listen better to my body. To nourish myself with delicious and vitamin-filled foods - like my favorite towers of nana ice cream. To rest when tired, but challenge myself otherwise. The hardest part of having an autoimmune disease is trusting the body that has betrayed you.

Some days that's easier than others. But, come 2015, I want to keep my ears and mind open. Not only to my inner commentary, but those of my family and friends. I finished off my college semester by giving my closest friends letters of my love and appreciation. Even though I was the one writing and reflected on our adventures that year, I felt like I was hearing for the first time. Hearing how lucky I am - how amazing my friends are. How much more growing and joy is yet to come.

2014!

O: "oh," the sound I hope to make every day. It's easy to let myself be swept away in the marathon of the new year. The upcoming college semester, family relocation and reunions with PLNU friends and teachers. But, that's not the "swept away" I'm looking for.

I'm looking for more walks around my college campus in awe over the beauty of the ocean. More shocking university lectures that make me see the textbook as more than a stack of ink-heavy paper. More hard workouts that remind me of my newly recovered strength. More moments when all I can think of saying is one simple letter: "oh."

"Oh" - how small we are!

The personality of 2015 is still forming in my mind. Will it be the kickbutt superhero I'm waiting for? Or the mousy bookworm whose knowledge soon expands beyond books? As I relax with the family tonight and eat a big slice of New Year's chocolate cake, I'm okay with any of the options. As long as, this time next year, I've had at least a couple moments fit for a Casey "hello."


*Also found at Running with Spoon's link party!*


What are your New Year's resolutions? How are you planning to celebrate 2015? Comment below!