Last week, Americans
celebrated the freedom of their country. Cue the
Fourth of July fireworks, family gatherings, and, of course,
food. Even while the rest of my schedule altered for the festivities, though, my food followed the
usual adaptations. As a diagnosed celiac for two years now, I'd like to say living without gluten is as part of my daily
routine as it is in my DNA. I have celiac disease. Gluten can literally
kill me. And that's that.
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Throwback to post hospital swag! |
Recently, though, I've noticed what I'd like to call the
two sides of celiac freedom. And, honestly, I'll blame any
philosophizing on the restaurant dining that has dominated my Houston
vacation. Usually, I'm a once-every-two-weeks type of outside eater. It's
safer. It's cheaper. And I don't have to be a walking celiac
infomercial before my meal.
One of the
benefits of two years celiac experience? The information I tell my waitress, the requests I make of the chef, and the
scrutiny I place over my meal transforms into a memorized
script. Sometimes I
forget that I ever walked into a restaurant without researching gluten free options ahead of time. And ordering fries without asking about fryer cross contamination? It feels like a memory filed away with my short-lived
McDonald days.
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Replace with "celiac disease" and that's my jam! |
It wasn't until my mom explained my dining needs to the
waitress during our last visit to Outback, however, that I realized how
ingrained my celiac safety measures has become. As I heard her talking about
cross contamination, gluten and bread crumbs, for a second, I forgot she was talking about
me. I forgot that, to the average American, these questions are anything but
ordinary. That the life, the diet, and the worries that constantly fly through my head are in fact as
unique as my blood test results.
I embrace my celiac disease as part of my
identity. But sometimes, like having brown hair or boasting a 4.0 GPA, it
fades into the whole that is Casey. For all those newly diagnosed with celiac disease, I can say this: it (living with celiac disease) does get
easier. As celiacs learn to feed themselves safely, they also learn
freedom from a disease sitting constantly on their minds.
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A few parts of Casey
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And yet, as I've been eating out and cooking meals in
unfamiliar kitchens, my disease has also jumped into the
foreground of my identity. Unlike in my kitchen back home where counters are constantly wiped clean of crumbs, little
gluten bombs lurk on counter tops. That means always cutting my fruits or vegetables on
clean plates of paper towels. That means washing every bowl or utensil with
soap and water before adding my food. Basically, my gluten
alarm is buzzing twenty four hours a day.
Living in houses that are more gluten than gluten free has its
benefits. It's a reminder to be grateful for my family's (gluten)
sacrifices and dedication to cleaning. It's a reminder that I'm not invincible or normal or able to eat like everyone else - but that I can
handle the challenge. And, in a strange way, it's
empowering. Because it's made me realize that taking such strict precautions leads to another side of celiac freedom. Instead of being
free from celiac, I am embracing freedom
for it.
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All gluten free? |
The freedom of being able to shop, cook, and feed myself
safely. The freedom to, after I've taken the proper precautions with my waiter and chef,
indulge in a delicious gluten free meal outside my own kitchen. And the freedom to accept the disease that, while
cumbersome at times, is a part of what makes me uniquely,
imperfectly, completely me.
As I watched the
fireworks explode over my head a few nights ago, I could barely believe the
variety. Different colors. Different shapes. Different techniques that made us ooh and awww from the truck bed. But each one celebrated the
same holiday: American freedom. In a similar way, celiac disease can be celebrated in life through two different ways. By becoming ingrained in routine to such an extent it becomes nearly
invisible or by being embraced as an impactful part of life and identity. Or a mixture of both.
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Out with a bam!
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What I
realized this last weekend? Either one is a sign of celiac freedom - living life with celiac in mind, but not in the
driver's seat. And I can't wait to see what adventure I end up
traveling through next.
Do you ever "forget" about your celiac disease? How did you celebrate the Fourth of July? Comment below!
It's just such an ingrained part of me that I really don't think about "being a Celiac". The only reason I think about it now is when I'm on my blog! Haha! It's just my "normal life"!
ReplyDeleteI can totally agree! Nothing like writing "celiac" a billion times a week to remind you! ;)
ReplyDelete