Is Your Chronic Illness Your Identity? Saying "I Have Celiac" versus "I Am Celiac"

The more I connect with others in the chronic illness community, the more similarities and difference I notice. We all have different diagnoses - but we all know how it feels to have a doctor's visit that changes your life. Even with celiacs, we all eat gluten free - but our diets can still look radically different.

One of the most recent differences I've noticed in the gluten free community? Celiacs who say "I have celiac disease" versus "I am celiac."

Why does the distinction matter? Well, as a writing major who earned a (brutal) A in Linguistics, I obviously couldn't resist digging in. 

When I say, "I have celiac disease," I'm talking about a trait. It's the same sentence structure as "I have gray eyes" or "I have an addiction to granola." (Both are true by the way). 

Meanwhile, "I am celiac" says something slightly different. It says that celiac disease is who you are. It's an aspect of your very identity and roots, like "I am American." 

I know some celiacs have argued against saying the latter - and, at first, I totally agreed.  I am so much more than my celiac disease. I am so much more than any of my chronic illnesses. 

At the same time, though, I can't deny that celiac disease has become a cornerstone of my identity. What feels like eons ago, I wrote a post about how "gluten free is my food culture" and, in a way, celiac is another culture that I now call my own. 

There are various definitions of culture, but I think these two from the Merriam-Webster dictionary fit my purpose the best:

• The customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group; also: the characteristic features of everyday existence shared by people in a time or place
• The set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution or organization

As a member of the celiac community, I agree with others that food can function as medicine. I share certain behaviors - like avoiding gluten in all forms, calling ahead to check restaurants' gluten free options, and obsessively reading food labels - with other celiacs as a direct result of my diagnosis. We probably even have certain values in common, like the importance of accurate food labeling or gluten free testing on "gluten free" products. 

At first, I thought this would be a post about why to not say, "I am celiac (or any other chronic illness)." I thought it would be another uplifting article about how you are so much more than words in a hospital file - and that point is still true. 

Yet, I think I'm also discovering another, less-covered facet of this issue: not identifying with your disease or chronic illness is freaking hard. With fibromyalgia, I live in varying degrees of pain 24/7. With celiac disease, I have to analyze and examine every piece of food that goes in my mouth - and many products that don't, like makeup or shampoo. How can I not be my disease when my life, one way or another, seems to always revolve around it? 

I'm still learning the answer to that question. However, I think these two different statements - "I have" versus "I am" can act as a guide. 

They remind us that we control just how much our disease is part of our identity. When I'm with my friends or a loved one, I'll probably say, "I have celiac" because, to them, I am not a medical diagnosis. I am a friend, a partner in crime, a daughter, a sister and countless other roles. 

When I'm blogging, though, I don't mind being celiac if it can help someone accept their new diagnosis. I want to prove that you can raise awareness by identifying with your disease (and disproving stereotypes and myths about what a "celiac" really looks like. Fun fact: it's not always skinny, female or young!). Yet, you can still be empowered and multi-faceted.

My chronic illnesses are both traits and cornerstones of my identity - and I wouldn't change either. The challenges of celiac disease and fibromyalgia have fostered other traits I'm proud of - like strength, determination and the confidence to advocate for my own health. And identifying with both diagnoses has connected me with hundreds of amazing people all over the world. 

So, yes. I have celiac. I am celiac. And whichever phrase you use to describe your chronic illness and yourself is A-OK. 

Love this article? Click the following link to Tweet: Is your #chronicillness your identity? The difference in saying "I am" and "I have" a #disease. via @collegeceliackc http://bit.ly/2qh2GOY.

What phrase resonates with you? Do you see your health challenges as traits or parts of your identity? Tell me your thoughts below!